Resources

Anger management therapy, and my innovative approach to counselling, ‘The Anger Cure’, enables you to break free from the negative cycles in which you can find yourself trapped. The following resources are designed to give you helpful insight into where anger comes from, what purpose it serves, what causes it, and how best to manage it.

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I also encourage you to join our Facebook Group The Anger Cure so you can join our discussions, discover new tips and tools, and get any questions answered.

Anger As a Secondary Emotion

Is your anger serving you? Is there a possibility that your anger is not the true emotion experienced?

It is important to discover the message that your anger is giving you.

Anger is typically an expression of emotional pain. Perhaps we feel mistreated, vulnerable, powerless, opposed, or are confronted by an obstacle that prevents us from reaching our goals.

Anger is also an an essential aspect of our survival response system. It is an evolutionary response to physical or psychological threats and is an appropriate response if we are in danger.

However, all too often, expressing our anger is an overreaction or an inappropriate response to a situation we find ourselves in. Instead of serving a purpose, uncontrolled, angry outbursts can have negative consequences for yourself and those around you.

In this short video, I explore primary and secondary emotions and how anger is often a secondary response to underlying primary pain, which needs to be understood and explored.

We discover how our upbringing, conditioning, community, and wider culture has an impact on our emotional responses and propensity for displaying certain emotions in preference of others.

Through anger management counselling, we can learn to identify the emotions and causes that lie underneath our anger and express them in an assertive, non-aggressive, and productive way.

Know Your Triggers

Most people describe anger as a sudden, overwhelming, and unstoppable force – a toxic volcano that erupts uncontrollably and affects everything in its path.

This description is one based upon fear, guilt, or shame, and often leads people who struggle with controlling their anger to try and suppress or deny it.

The truth is that anger is understandable, predictable, and sometimes appropriate. It is therefore essential to understand the people or situations that trigger your anger. By learning to recognise the early warning signs that occur in thoughts, bodily sensations, and behaviour, you can allow your rational mind to take control of the situation and implement the techniques learned through anger management counselling to prevent the emotion from overwhelming you.

Learn more about how to identify your triggers in this short video.

Passivity, Rage, and Guilt.

Passive and passive-aggressive communication styles stem from an underlying lack of self-worth and a sense that your own feelings, wants, and needs are not acknowledged by others.

Passive communication often leads to anxiety, sadness, and when not effectively managed, to bursts of rage and anger, which in turn causes guilt and shame. This person adapts to the needs of the important people in their life; whether a spouse, family member or employer. People acting in this style will often look to others for validation of their self-worth and work hard to please other people in the hope that their emotional needs will be met. However, this can lead to pent up frustration and angry outbursts as they are not effectively expressing what they want.

Passive-aggressive communication is a slightly different process. This person has an underlying sense of futility and frustration which they often strive to keep hidden by a cool and collected exterior. Passive-aggressive communicators have great difficulty accepting and owning their negative emotions and are likely to respond with sarcasm, sulkiness, and a tendency to blame others if they respond to a situation with anger.

This video explores a common cycle of behaviour I see with my clients and how it is possible to change it through developing assertiveness and implementing anger management skills.

How can we help?

If you would like to live a calmer, harmonious life, free from rage, then contact me today for a free consultation. Anger management counselling gives you the tools to transform destructive anger into something positive and productive.